Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand

I just got back from France. We had a magical 11 days of Paris and Bordeaux and wine and walks and art and talks and trains and plans and love. I loved myself there. I felt free and open and not on the verge of anger or worry. (Can we talk about this? I feel like I have been on edge for years. Am I alone? When do we stop this?)
France was emotionally re…