June Mantra

I will not let myself down.

I am rolling this around in my mouth all week. I will not let myself down. 

I will be pressing the buy button today on Scrivener (this software makes so much sense to my brain) as my trial period is up. I’ve been using it here and there while I work out this story that came to me last year. I think we were in Paris, and I was joyful on Aperol Spritz and journaling, and this strange idea came to my mind. I let it dance around in there for a long time. I finally decided to try and write a novel. Again. I wrote a whole ass novel ten years back and junked it because I was scared and lazy. I am not really that lazy or scared anymore. Well, maybe I fear getting older and not ticking off all the boxes. 

But the first novel was a wayfinding experiment, maybe. Finding my way to now. I still have it, and I love some of the characters. Someday, maybe I will take it apart and edit it. It's weird, though, because I feel like I was a whole different person when I wrote that.

Anyways, this novel is not set in Paris. But in Appalachia and I’m getting to like some of the characters too. I feel like I’m starting to think about them during the day. They are fighting to become real to me. I wish I could spend more time on it, but that is also an excuse, isn’t it?

I am leaning way into the shitty first draft mindset while trying to just get a story out. That’s the hard part for now. I’m having the slowest summer I can. 
We did get a puppy, so that is hard.

Her name is Saint Winifred Cheeseburger Turn Sharp Hanlon.

We love Winnie so much. My writing companion.

Back to the writing. We can do so much this summer if we make agreements that we don’t break. I’m the worst at not keeping my word to MYSELF. To everyone else I am