don't wait til the finish line

no holdbacks here bb

when you hold back you can miss things

i have been struggling with buying too many convenience items off ye old amazon when really i wanna spend my money locally and thoughtfully but i am a baddie

anyways i take a lot of stuff back this past year to the ups store and i always see the same kid i mean either i shop a lot or all he does is work but monday when i was leaving i just said 

hey
i think you work all the time 
i hope you’re doing ok 

and to see his face soften and disengage from robotic behavior his hands all full of papers and plastic to see him smile directly in my face like a luminous bolt of sunshine it was a magic

and he’s just a kid and works so hard and i hope that he is happy

i hope he spends his money on good things that bring him joy 

i imagine he takes really good care of his car

like it is neat as a pin and fast too

that he plays video games with those headphones on

that he is in love and can dance

that he knows all the words to all the good songs on the radio

idk 

i wanna tell all the strangers in the world how beautiful they are

how i’m really looking at them

how i see them

i want to tell my people how i really see them

that i’m paying attention

i want to say things that matter instead of bullshit that doesn’t 

anyways he smiled because i didn’t hold back

all the things i didn’t tell other people 

all this

whole long life

i wanna tell

you

I don’t know why but I think this message is for one of you.

Practice “no holdbacks” today.

xo

amy